Happy Anniversary to Me! An Update on Austin ISD

A year ago today I had one of the crummier experiences of my life. 

In the lobby of my sons' school while waiting for my middle child, I nursed my baby to sleep.  I was told to move to a private room, as though what I was doing was something shameful to be hidden away.

I was hurt, deeply.  And I was furious.

And now, I am grateful.

One year later on the bench where it all started - I tried to nurse him, but he wasn't hungry!
  The greatest need for support is in those early days and months.  Mothers nursing in public
and employees needing to pump aren't asking for the moon.  Just support, just for a little while.

I went home that day fighting tears and I immediately sought support from Facebook friends.  I was overwhelmed by the response.

I started a letter that night of which I am proud.  It is informative, diplomatic, and firm.  It set the tone for all of the advocacy that I have done since that day. 

And (tooting my own horn here which is a little uncomfortable for me, but) I have done a lot.  I've heard from mothers who say that they have been inspired to nurse in public by my blog or Facebook page, and that means the world to me.  Hays CISD has a new breastfeeding policy that I got to influence.  I got to be a part of breastfeeding legislation that, while it did not become law, laid the groundwork for passing pro-breastfeeding bills in the future.  And finally, fiiiiiiiiiiiinnaaalllllllyyyyyyy, Austin Independent School District has a breastfeeding regulation that is in accordance with Texas law!

I have by no means achieved anything on my own.  The number of people who have played a part in these accomplishments is tremendous.  2,049 people signed the petition asking AISD to adopt a policy that upholds the law.  More than 1,600 people have liked my Facebook page.  My letter has been viewed 9,961 times and my blog has over 42,000 views.  I have no idea how many people wrote and called the school district or their legislators, but I know that AISD administration took note, and that staffers I talked to at the Capitol knew what bills I was talking about, often just by their numbers.  An impressive number of people have spoken at school board meetings and testified at a House committee hearing.  SO many mamas gathered information and drafted sample letters to make contacting the lege easier.  Every person at the Education Austin (teachers union) board meeting I attended was in support of breastfeeding mothers.  Not one vote opposed the final recommendation of the Student Health Advisory Council (SHAC) supporting a policy that reflects the law.  Some of the AISD board members supported our efforts.  And my family has given so very much support, too, and made many sacrifices (like never having a clean house).

Both in the work with school districts and with legislation, many, many people have contributed to our successes.

You made an impact.

Thank you.

For the teacher who saw me nurturing my infant and complained, that day one year ago was just a butterfly flapping its wings.

But it could have damaged my breastfeeding relationship, had circumstances been different.  Thankfully, being confident in my right and in the importance of breastfeeding, being very experienced as a breastfeeding mother, the impact of that moment has been positive.  And this has been one heck of a hurricane!

It has been thrilling, and exhausting.  I write at slothspeed, so it's been awhile since I posted much of an update about AISD.  And now I have so much to share!  So this is a long post because it is long overdue.

In May I spoke at another board meeting. In June I went to a board policy meeting.  That night, I got to post this:

It was a very happy night, despite my concern that it was not yet official.


My reservations were well-founded.  Sort of.

There is now a regulation!  Sort of.

I received this via the grape vine:

I cannot find it online, so I assume either it awaits a webmaster or TASB approval.

What I don't love about the wording is that it retains language from the right-to-pump law that the district confused with the nursing-in-public law months ago when they had an abysmal regulation that was rescinded in December.  I feel like either they're thumbing their noses at me (we can write a law-abiding reg and still imply that y'all should be locked away - nana-nana-boo-boo!) or the editing of that rescinded policy was intensely lazy:


Rescinded Reg:The District shall provide a parent or visitor who has properly
checked in at a campus during the school day, a place, other
than a bathroom, that is shielded from view and free from in-
trusion by students, employees, and the public, which shall be
used to breastfeed or express milk.
The principal or designee shall direct the parent or visitor to
the place designated by the principal for breastfeeding or ex-
pressing milk.

New Reg:
A visitor who is breastfeeding her baby will not be denied ac-
cess to any area she is otherwise authorized to be. Adminis-
trators will identify and make available a designated area,
other than a bathroom, that is shielded from view and free
from intrusion by students, employees, and the public, which
shall be available to breastfeed or express milk. A staff mem-
ber that offers a private room must clarify that the mother is
welcome to breastfeed wherever she prefers and is author-
ized to be.

I suppose it seems like I'm being nitpicky, and maybe I am a bit.  I'm sort of joking, too.  Sort if.  I know a lot of AISD peeps put a lot of time into this issue (which could have been avoided if the right thing had been done from the get-go...).

Nitpicky, maybe - BUT, the reg has already been misinterpreted.

A principal who received the new reg has interpreted it to mean that she has to offer a private room to a parent or staff member who wants to breastfeed.  She understands that mothers can't be forced to a private room and can nurse where they're authorized to be, but takes the reg to mean that she must try to offer a private room first. 

I know some women - and some babies - would prefer a quiet, out of the way spot to nurse.  I support that, of course.  But I want a regulation or policy that respects a woman's right, not one that tries to circumvent it.

I am so tired.  So, so, so, so, so so so so tired.  I want to look at this and say, "Well, okay, it's far from perfect, but at least it reiterates to administrators that a private room must be identified for pumping employees, which is awesome."  And that fact is awesome.

But I can't just ignore that the reg as written can be interpreted as saying that breastfeeding mothers must be hunted down and politely offered a private room where they can lock themselves away to nourish their babies.

So.  Next steps in this project-that-just-will-not-end:

I will email administration to let them know how the regulation has been interpreted, and to offer for Central Texas Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies Coalition to present a training on the importance of breastfeeding and of community support as Mr. Waxler once discussed with one of our members.  Because hopefully the misinterpretation was just because of the language.  If principals have already had training and that's where this interpretation comes from, then I am at a loss.  I would feel so defeated and disappointed that I'd want to crawl into a hole and sleep there for a week. 

But not today.  Today is my anniversary.  And I want some gluten-free, egg-free cake to celebrate!

Happy Birthday, Mister Rogers

Mister Rogers was a brilliant man.  So what would have been his take on breastfeeding?

An autographed photo of Mister Rogers,
which he sent to my husband in 1983.

Yesterday was Mr. Fred Rogers' birthday. 

It's been a decade now since the world lost this wonderful man.  A man who made children feel loved, just the way they are, and gave a crotchety Senator goosebumps.  A man who was gifted with so many insights about children and how they learn and feel and grow. 

I think most everyone recognizes that Fred Rogers was spot on with everything he said.  Always honest, always caring - he earned our trust.  He was special. 

So how would he have felt about nursing in public?

From Adam's scrapbook - Mister Rogers' letter

How do you think?  What's your best guess about how this great man, who was so in tune with children and how best to respect them and teach them - what is your guess about how he might have treated the topic of breastfeeding?

My husband, Adam, has always been a huge fan of Fred Rogers.  When he was eight years old, he wrote to him.  Mister Rogers wrote back. 

Adam even wrote a song about him when he died.

Yesterday he posted these photos to Facebook, and a friend of his commented that she liked the "Mister Rogers Talks about Food" episode, and today he found it online.

In it, Mister Rogers says that moms often find pleasure in feeding their babies - feeding their babies is a way of showing love.

In the clip below, there are different animals nursing their offspring.  As the mama cat is nursing, the camera gets a close up of a kitten, and you can see that it latches on to the mama's nipple to drink milk.  I thought as I watched it, "How wonderful!  Kids can really see it.  It takes the mystery out of it."

(You may want to watch for yourself now, to avoid my spoiler below.)

As I watched, I hoped that Mister Rogers would show women nursing on his show, even though I was happy even just to see calves and kittens.  And then - boom! - a nipple.  

A mama nursing her baby, and not even covered up.  

On TV, on a brilliant children's program.  Taking all the mystery out of breastfeeding, so that children can see and understand the primary function of breasts.  While they're young, before they've received the message broadcast so loudly by our society that breasts are sexy.  Cause how confusing must that be?  

Going from "breasts are for feeding babies" to "breasts are attractive" is as natural a progression as going from kisses on your neck tickling as a child to kisses on your neck tingling as a teen.  Starting with cleavage on pretty Disney princesses and then finally mentioning to adolescents that mammary glands are the best way to nourish a baby - that's what could be damaging to a child.

I'm still dealing with AISD so I have to say here that as the vast majority of mothers do, I will conform to society's expectations that I do not reveal any of my breast while I nurse my baby at school.  And my agenda with AISD has only ever been for mothers to feel at ease to feed their babies at schools as needed without being shamed.

But in the wider world, normalizing breastfeeding absolutely includes children seeing mothers feeding their babies as we were designed to do.  And I'm not the only one who thinks so.  The brilliant, gentle Mr. Fred Rogers thought so, too. 

Two Worlds Collide

UPDATE 3/23/13: You can see video of my speech and the post-communication discussion of suspending policy work by clicking here.  I have been informed that the board policy committee will not meet until June 11 (instead of next week) because they are all very busy working on the Bond election.  
 

Tonight I spoke at yet another board meeting.  I wasn't sure what I haven't already said, but I didn't want to waste an opportunity to try to get through to whomever may still disagree with my perspective.  Below is my speech.  I'll edit this post tomorrow to add the video when Adam has finished it.  You see, he had it about ready to go when Citizen Communication concluded and the board discussed suspending work on a board policy until we know the fate of HB 1706.  Ugh.  Spring break ended yesterday and already I can't wait for summer, when all of this will be done.  Or so I thought.  

Below my speech is my letter to the board, in response to the Chairman's interest in knowing more about the legislation.   

Speech:

January board meeting - Marianne Baker, Lauren Reyes,
Barbara Brawn, Gail Gresham, & Kristine Phillips Keller

Good evening.  In less than two weeks the board policy committee will meet and breastfeeding will be on the agenda.  I don’t know the procedure beyond that, and I wanted to talk to you again before a decision’s made.

Two months ago when I was here, my baby was falling asleep in his father’s arms, but every two minutes a speech would end and the applause would wake him.  I nursed him to sleep, just before my turn.  So I was breastfeeding here at the podium.  It wasn’t a stunt - just a necessity.

Last month, he couldn’t fall asleep.  I bounced him, he cooed.  He was a distraction.  He was disruptive.

When I was breastfeeding him, that was not disruptive.

Breastfeeding is not a tequila bottle or a curse word on a T-shirt.  Limiting distractions and disruptions that could be caused by fashion makes sense in a dress code, but there is no place for it in language regarding breastfeeding. 

If my child required a service animal (even a miniature horse) there’s no provision in the applicable policy that states, “If your dog’s really cute and the kids all want to pet him, you’ll have to be secluded away.”

There’s already a federal law which grants schools the right to tell a parent they have to leave if they’re disrupting the environment, but there’s no redundant language to reflect this in the service animals policy.

If I were Korean, black, a Baptist, blind, or in my eighties, no one would say to me, “It’s okay for you to be 83, as long as your being 83 does not disrupt the teaching and learning environment.”  Or, “You can be blind, but if it distracts anyone, you’ll have to go be blind in a private room."

Breastfeeding mothers are not a protected class.  But neither are parents with nose rings, or tattoos, or those who smell strongly of cigarette smoke.  But no one’s telling those parents that if those things draw attention, they’ll be segregated. 

And if someone did, while disconcerting and inappropriate, it wouldn't pose a risk to public health.  I can’t emphasize this enough: when breastfeeding is stigmatized as something which may be disruptive or distracting, rather than treated as normal and healthy, we take a great risk, for which our children will suffer. 

Letter:

Hello, and thank you for the opportunity to speak to you again tonight about the importance of supporting breastfeeding mothers.  I rushed out to get my baby home and to bed even though he is all mixed up by the time change, and once home I learned of the conversation the board had regarding current legislation related to breastfeeding. 

HB 1706 will strengthen Texas' existing right-to-breastfeed law.  You can read the bill and subscribe to updates at this link: http://www.legis.state.tx.us/BillLookup/History.aspx?LegSess=83R&Bill=HB1706

Texas Health & Safety Code Sec.165.002 currently reads "A mother is entitled to breast-feed her baby in any location in which the mother is authorized to be."

It is a terrific law which asserts a mother's right and comforts many women who are nervous about breastfeeding in public. 

However, there is no provision which actually protects the right.  While Austin ISD is working on whether and how other laws pertaining to students and parents must be taken into consideration when interpreting how to implement 165.002, places like Hollister Co. and Pure Fitness for Women are simply ignoring the law altogether. 

HB 1706 strengthens the language of the law by adding the word "otherwise" before "authorized to be" and stipulates that a mother cannot have her authority to be in a place revoked for breastfeeding, and that no one may interfere with or restrict her right.

In my opinion, the most important and potentially effective aspect of the bill is that it will notify businesses of the law via the Comptroller's office.  It is usually an ill-informed employee who insists a nursing mother must move or altogether leave a place of public accommodation.  If more business owners were aware of the law and trained their employees accordingly, fewer women would face discrimination.

The sticking point may be the enforcement provision, which grants a private right of action.  It is possible that some legislators will be concerned about people filing lawsuits.  It is equally possible that more legislators will recognize that a law which can be ignored with impunity weakens respect for the rule of law. 

A similar bill has failed in the past few legislative sessions; in the past the proposed enforcement provision was a fine.  But a fine would require creating a system to assess fines, which would create a need to finance that system. 

A private cause of action is not accessible to very many women; it would not result in rampant lawsuits.  Most families cannot afford a lawyer and do not have time for a lawsuit.  It would be difficult to prove damages, or even to get a lawyer to take the case.

It would however stand to remind businesses that the right has weight.

The language in the initial version of HB 1706 broadly defines an "interested person;" this language will be narrowed in response to concern voiced by the representative of NFIB, the only organization which testified against the bill.  There was significant support for the bill represented by individual stakeholders and health organizations. 

You can imagine how invested I personally am in this bill.  You see how motivated I have been to protect mothers and babies in our part of Texas.  I want very much to improve our law for all of Texas.

However, I see it as entirely unrelated to the policy at AISD. 

Texas has a right-to-breastfeed law.  We are asking AISD to have a right-to-breastfeed policy. 

Regardless of the outcome of this bill, the law exists for a reason.  With or without an enforcement provision, the law should be respected. 

Tonight's discussion of HB 1706 was unexpected.  I choose not to believe that AISD would take failure of the bill to mean that 165.002 can be ignored.  I choose to believe that AISD instead would feel emboldened to take a stronger stand in favor of the health of mothers and babies if the bill becomes law.

I ask that you continue with the policy work that you have begun and fully support breastfeeding regardless of the outcome of HB 1706.

If I may be of any assistance, please feel free to contact me via email or at the number below.  I hope that this information is helpful to you in determining how to proceed.

Best Regards,
Krisdee Donmoyer

Postscript: On my way out, a man in the lobby who had just watched my speech on the TV screen there thanked me. That means more to me than he can possibly know.  Isn't it incredible the effect we can have on people, both positive and negative, without ever realizing our impact? 

Call to Action

HB 1706 & HB 741:

Go to TXBFLeg.com for information about how to support breastfeeding legislation.

AISD:

With AISD, we are in a holding pattern as the Board Policy Committee gathers input before coming to a decision.

Until a policy is adopted, you can sign our petition and share it with friends.  

Whatever it takes, I'm in this for the (potential) long haul, until we get what we deserve - a policy that upholds the law and respects a mother's right to nurse her baby wherever her baby is hungry.



Amplify Our Voices:

Please like us on facebook follow us on twitter.   

And while you're still here on the blog, follow/subscribe, & show your support with a comment.  

And tell all your friends! 

Nursing Sweet Pea, October 2010

 

Photocopies and Dinosaurs (No Big Deal)

No big deal - just nursing at the park a few weeks ago. 

Today was a good NIP day.

No one gave me a thumbs up or thanked me for nursing in public.  No "You go, girl!"  But this might just have been better.

Bellybean got hungry in potentially negative situations, and it was no big deal.

I mean, every situation is potentially negative, right?  That's part of what sucks - you never know when or where someone may confront you.  That's part of the problem. 

But these were awkward for me.

I work in the copy room for an hour or so most Wednesdays and Fridays, with Bellybean in the Ergo on my back.  Kids aren't allowed to be in the copy room (safety issue), but as long as he's attached to me, we're cool.  Well today he started to fuss, and I thought it was just that he was tired.  I was bouncing him around, talking to the Chair of the school carnival about the silent auction, somewhat oblivious to my noisy boy.  The assistant principal let me know that there was a tester in an office nearby, so we closed the copy room door.  I realized that he'd have fallen asleep already if he was tired, and that meant that he must be hungry.  Crap.  He's supposed to be in the carrier when we're in the copy room.  But if I left the room he'd be hollering in the hall, disturbing the student who was taking a test.  There were two teachers in the copy room.  My friend said something encouraging so I just sat down and fed him.  And quiet reigned.  One of the teachers on her way out glanced at us and said, "Oh, somebody was hungry, huh?"

No big deal.  I mean, it was, to me - it was a big deal that, to her, it was no big deal!

Then this afternoon Sweet Pea had a class at the Austin Nature and Science Center, and we found out afterwards that there was a dinosaur show.  I guess it was a preview for Erth: Dino Petting Zoo at the Long Center.  The dinosaur was fantastic - but scary for some, including my Sweet Pea.  But before we knew that, while we waited for the dino to arrive, Sweet Pea played in the dino pit while I sat with Bellybean near a mother of five I was chatting with.  Her kids were sweet - one of her little girls seemed smitten with the baby.  Which was awesome, until he started to act hungry, and I began to worry that the mom would be offended if I nursed him right next to her daughter, even though I am discreet.  But I didn't want to ask permission.  She said something about him being cute or little or something, I forget what, and I said that he was cute or little and hungry.  I held off for a minute, un-tucking my shirt from under the Ergo strap, stalling - wanting her to have time to understand that I was about to breastfeed, and to move if she wanted to.  Finally I latched him on, and kept my hand right on my shirt, ready to cover if he got distracted.  She called to her daughters, but one stayed put next to me.  Maybe one of them asked; I heard Mom say I was feeding him special milk.  Then she said to me, to let her know if her daughter made me nervous!  I smiled, "Oh no, not at all."

And it was no big deal.

Which was a pretty big deal.

Distratction & Disruption During the Board Meeting

What's more distracting and disruptive than a baby being breastfed at a school?  A baby who didn't nap well all day, and is up past his bedtime for a board meeting. 

The following is the speech I gave at tonight's board meeting.  Until we post it to our YouTube channel, you can read it while imagining me bouncing for two minutes an adorable and vocal baby.  Adam stayed home to get the big boys to bed on time, and Bellybean has separation anxiety so I had to decline the very kind offer to hold him that was made by someone at the meeting.  I did okay given the circumstances - got a bit breathless in my nervousness.  But mostly, I was just completely upstaged by Mr. Cutey Pants.

Good evening. I want to thank you for sending the issue of breastfeeding on school campuses to the Board Policy Committee. While I feel it could be as simple as writing a policy which states the law, I do appreciate the desire for due diligence. 

In December the School Health Advisory Council was asked for individual opinions and in January they were told that there would be no further work on a policy. It may provide valuable input to ask for the SHAC’s standing as a group.

As to the idea that a regulation or policy would include language that allows for sequestering a nursing mother if her breastfeeding is a distraction or disruption, I would like to point out that it is actually a negative reaction to nursing that could cause a scene. In almost six months I have nursed this baby in the lobby, in a parent/teacher conference, a 504 meeting, in the empty classroom stuffing Thursday Folders, in the classroom full of students and parents for two parties and Market Days, in the hallway, the library, and the cafeteria. The only time that there was ever a problem was when a staff member complained that as she walked through the otherwise empty lobby, I sat discreetly nursing my baby while I waited for my three-year-old to be brought back to the lobby after his hour of speech therapy. I needed to be there when he arrived, not hidden away in a private conference room. Just as I needed to be in the cafeteria if I was to visit my oldest son at lunch, and in the classroom to set up for the parties as I had volunteered to do, and in the classroom to see and help with Market Days just like any other parent who wants to be a part of their children’s lives and educations. These moments are too short to excuse yourself from them for 20 minutes to feed your baby.

Breastfed babies often refuse bottles – and exclusively breastfeeding moms don’t necessarily even pump milk or have a pump. Breastfed babies eat frequently, and not always on a predictable schedule. And holing ourselves up in our homes for six months to a year is a recipe for postpartum depression. So we rely on the law that protects our right to breastfeed in public. And now we are relying on you to ensure - without stigmatizing breastfeeding as a disrupting, distracting, deviant act - that we do not have to choose between optimal nutrition for our babies and participating in our children’s educations.

So thank you for the time and thought that you are giving to this issue.

Signing up to speak at last month's Board Meeting.

Board Policy Committee Meeting - February

I want to start by saying that our Board of Trustees comprises nine people who spend time and money to be elected to a four-year commitment - potentially longer if they seek another term.  During those four-plus years they spend quite a few late nights in meetings each month, many of them after a full day of work, in an effort to make the best possible choices to positively shape the education of tens of thousands of students.  In a district this size, they must receive a slew of letters, emails, and telephone calls.  They certainly receive ridicule.  What they don't receive is one red cent.  They are volunteers, and as a mom of AISD students, I state with complete honesty and no attempt to win their favor (I don't imagine they have time to read this blog, anyways), that I appreciate their service.

That said, bureaucracy sucks.  Dealing with this issue has been like trying to get a health insurance company to cover something they're supposed to cover when they see the possibility that they could wriggle out of it.  Nonetheless, the committee met last night and on this issue alone, they spoke for over an hour. They want more information before moving forward, and if I'd been told that in an email (or on Facebook), I would totally think it was just a filibuster move.  But I was there, privy to the conversation and attitudes, and I truly believe that they simply want to get it right this time.  Administration ran the now-rescinded regulation by the Board Policy Committee last fall (different members then), and there were no objections to it at that time.  This time, this committee wants to give it due diligence.

At least a trustee clarified early on that they would not be making a decision that night.  So I tempered my expectations.  

Not that I'm not a little crushed.  This has been exhausting.  I'm ready for some relief of the anxiety it has caused. What I wanted to happen would have sounded a little like this:

*******************************made-up conversation*********************************
Lori Moya: The first item on the agenda is breastfeeding.  It's clearly time to adopt a board policy.

Gina Hinojosa: I agree.  I've had to breastfeed my baby at school.  A mother deserves to be able to participate in her school-aged child's life while still meeting her baby's needs.

Cheryl Bradley: Dr. Carstarphen prefers to handle situations on a case by case basis.  Mr. Waxler suggests we clarify that the district will have to send a mother to a private room if her breastfeeding is a distraction from the teaching and learning environment.

Ann Teich: Breastfeeding isn't a distraction, people reacting negatively to breastfeeding is a distraction.  We have proposed language here from Central Texas Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies Coalition and Keep Austin Nursing in Public, and I think it's just what we need.

Cheryl Bradley: We really do need to show that we support breastfeeding.  It's a public health issue.

Gina Hinojosa: As a lawyer, I think this language is spot on.

Lori Moya: All in favor of adopting this language as our policy, say aye.

Lori Moya, Gina Hinojosa, Ann Teich, Cheryl Bradley: Aye!
***********************this did not happen - it's just a fantasy******************************

It occurs to me that Mel Waxler, the Chief of Staff and top legal adviser, has a tremendous amount of power.  Here we are essentially going over his head to the Board of Trustees, and there he is, at the table for this meeting, being consulted and seeming to have more influence than any other single person.

Thankfully, he has some experience with breastfeeding and appreciates that there are benefits.  It's not like we're dealing with someone who completely devalues it.  But, and maybe it's because he's a lawyer, he seems to see so very many shades of gray. 

Mr. Waxler reported that most districts, according to his in-house counsel group, handle any breastfeeding issues on a case by case basis, as the Superintendent wants to do.  He was saying that if there is a substantial disruption as a result of - and here he paused to search for a word, and Lori Moya said "as a result of a mother breastfeeding her baby?" and winked at me! - before Mel went on to say something about differing philosophies or opinions or something.

His concern seems to be that there are opposing views on the propriety of breastfeeding in public, and that allowances for those differing views, that "diversity of opinion," must be a part of a policy if one is written.  That's not a quote, just my understanding of his position; I could be mistaken.  Throughout this whole post, these are only my perceptions of where everyone stands and how they feel.  I will not intentionally misrepresent anything, of course - I am doing my best to be as accurate as I can.

Here's the thing about people who are opposed to breastfeeding in public: it's a prejudice. 

From Wikipedia on prejudice: "It can also refer to unfounded beliefs and may include 'any unreasonable attitude that is unusually resistant to rational influence.'"  I don't know how "my baby needs to eat" couldn't qualify as rational influence, before you even get into all of the health benefits of breastfeeding, and the myriad other justifications for feeding a hungry baby when and where he is hungry.  

But this realization, that a policy written to respect the views of others is in fact respecting the prejudice of others - this was not my realization, it was that of the amazing and wonderful Marianne Baker, shared with me after the meeting.  Thank goodness for that, because if it had occurred to me, it would have been one more thing to bite my tongue over as I sat in a chair along the wall and listened, unable for most of the meeting to comment.  

As I sat holding my tongue, I took notes when I wasn't nursing Bellybean, who hadn't napped well during the day.  Adam held him much of the time, and took him into the room outside of the conference room when he got very vocal, so I was able to pay attention.  But this whole post may be very disjointed as I try to address all of my notes.  So, let's see...

Luckily, we have at least three of the four women on the Board Policy Committee who have breastfed their babies and who are supportive of breastfeeding.  So there's that.

TASB, the Texas Association of School Boards, has apparently recommended addressing breastfeeding concerns on a case by case basis, and expressed a preference for a regulation (generated by administration) over a policy (adopted by the board).  Which stinks because we really want TASB to take a pro-breastfeeding stand.  TASB has as a resource a collection of policies that school districts can use, so we really want one day (soon) for TASB to have a good breastfeeding policy. 

There was a lot of talk about the potential for a mother breastfeeding to cause a substantial distraction or disruption to the teaching and learning environment.  Uh, no.  A mother feeding her baby is not a distraction.  Another person's reaction to breastfeeding may be a distraction or disruption. 

Mr. Waxler quoted a court case, someone versus Forth Worth - "The predominant interest of the school is to educate its students.  If a particular type of conduct has the effect of disrupting the learning atmosphere it should be subject to regulation."  (I think I got the quote right - Bellybean was "talking" towards the end.)

So he wants language (which is stigmatizing) to address the idea that breastfeeding could be a substantial disruption.


And what is considered a substantial disruption?  I still don't know.  There was talk of upbringings and opinions of teachers, parents, and students.  But other than parents yelling, I don't know what counts.  I do know Mr. Waxler feels that if a teacher is so uncomfortable that she is driven to distraction, that may constitute reason to remove a nursing mom from her older child's classroom.

But what if we were to replace the word "nursing" with some other word or phrase?  Vegan, tattooed, pierced, smelling strongly of some spice or perfume?  Gina Hinojosa said there all sorts of examples where you wouldn't allow that exception.  The one she gave was someone who might be uncomfortable with people who speak Spanish in front of them.  She also spoke of gender inequities and our biological status and can I just say I love Gina and am proud that I voted for her?

Nursing mothers are not a protected class.  But what if we replaced the word "nursing" with some adjective describing a mother's age, race, national origin, religion, etc.  We certainly wouldn't be having this conversation about a teacher's comfort level, and we wouldn't be considering appending a supportive policy with a caveat about distraction. 

Now thankfully, Mr. Waxler said that a complaint alone is not dispositive of having to ask a mom to go to  a private room (as was the case in my situation, which was defended as a long-standing practice - so we are moving the needle). If a complaint was made, a principal would have to show due dilligence, documenting whether and how students were impacted by the breastfeeding mother disrupting the teaching and learning environment.

But again, what IS a substantial distraction?  And more importantly than defining substantial, how do we define a reaction to breastfeeding as breastfeeding?  I mean, it's just crazy talk.  All these intelligent, well-meaning adults in this conversation and as I write about it I'm just overcome with how utterly ridiculous it is.  When I am feeding my baby, I am not responsible if some yahoo in the cafeteria starts hollering at me to stop.  Now if I holler back, I'm responsible for that behavior, but the breastfeeding is not the problem.

So when is breastfeeding the problem?

Even if people are uncomfortable with a mother who may not cover when nursing (which may not be in keeping with societal expectations but is not illegal), or with a mother who nurses a baby older than is the social norm (which would include anyone following the World Health Organization's recommendation to breastfeed for at least two years), the breastfeeding is still not the problem.  If a mom is nursing her toddler waiting to pick up her older child and no one either notices or cares, would that be a substantial distraction?  If a mother is in the back of the room at a class party, nursing her baby who refuses to remain under a blanket, and the top of her breast is visible but no one is any more concerned than they would be to see far more skin at a beach, is that a substantial disruption?  I am guessing that there are people who would be uncomfortable even just reading these questions, including administration.  And if that's the case - if Mr. Waxler feels so strongly about including a repetitive provision affirming the district's right by federal law to put a stop to disruptions because they want to control not the reaction to breastfeeding but the details of it - then the distraction/disruption concern is really just a red herring. 

There were other good questions, as well.  Gina Hinojosa asked what a mother can do if she feels she was not treated right.  Mel Waxler said that she can file an FNG complaint.  I don't know who would inform her of this, though...

There was the question of how to proceed.  No one seemed to think that continuing on a case by case basis seems prudent.  Someone pointed out that I was "a case."  There was much discussion of whether the breastfeeding issue should be addressed by an administrative regulation (which helps to effectuate a policy) or a board policy (which has higher authority than a regulation).  I am not sure if Gina said which she preferred, but she is very supportive of breastfeeding.  She really has had to breastfeed in her son's class, and sees this issue as one that affects a mother's ability to participate fully in her older child's life.  Ann Teich and Lori Moya both wanted, after the failed regulation, to have a board policy.  It would take away the gray area, and after the rescinded regulation it would serve to show where the district stands.  Ms. Teich was just terrific.  She felt that a policy could be just as simple as the law.  To which of course Mr. Waxler wanted to say it's really pretty complicated because the interpretation is affected by other laws...  

By the end of the meeting I think perhaps everyone would have been fine with a regulation as long as it is well-crafted.  Trustee Robert Schneider was in attendance, though I don't believe he is on the committee, and he expressed that he felt breastfeeding should be addressed by a regulation.  He seemed disinterested in the issue, or even perhaps disdainful of it, saying that if a policy needed tweaking it would have to come back to the board.  (Maybe I'm just over sensitive.)  Cheryl Bradley also prefers a regulation.  She is a longtime board member, and said that breastfeeding concerns have never come to the board before.  She feels it can be handled at the regulation level.  She asked me a few questions.  I wouldn't know how I had answered if Adam hadn't videotaped it (see below), what with the "Hallelujah Chorus" blaring in my head and all.  I felt her comments were supportive.  After explaining my situation, she said from what happened there, we shouldn't be here.  That I was in the lobby, I didn't disrupt the classroom, I didn't disrupt anything.  

And Mr. Waxler said that this was before there was a policy.  That you have principals who make judgement calls...

It preceded the policy, but it followed the practice.

I think my principal make the wrong call - obviously.  But I believe I understand why she did it.  She wanted to avoid conflict, her experiences have led her to feel that nursing in the lobby at a school is inappropriate, and because it has been a longstanding practice of the district to isolate breastfeeding mothers.  

So she was a little bit thrown under the bus by that statement. 

Which is weird, because Mr. Waxler has been gung ho in his support of her and the practice that has been followed for his decade with the district.  In fact, he went so far as to say, months ago, that the same practice was employed by other local school districts, UT, Seton Family of Hospitals, Travis County, and the City of Austin - most of which is patently untrue. 

Actually, I really appreciate that Mr. Waxler's opinion seems to have evolved.  But don't blame the principals when this is the advice they've been given, dude.

And then he said that my incident should not be the one determines what the regulation or policy is.  Huh? 

But moving on.  Mr. Waxler agreed that my situation should have been handled differently.  He said that if it had to happen all over again, if he was called for guidance, he would say "let me speak to the person who filed the complaint."

To give everyone props, leave it to the educators to recognize a need for training.  While businesses throughout the country regularly deal with the fallout of an employee making the mistake of confronting nursing mothers, yet fail to train their staff, I am proud to report that my district states an intent to train principals on how to handle any complaints about breastfeeding on their campuses.  Mel would like for the training, which will be done by Tracy Lunoff, the AISD School Health Health Coordinator, to focus mostly on the health benefits of breastfeeding.  The principals would be told that in general, the rule is that mothers are free to breastfeed wherever they choose, and if a complaint is lodged, the complaint would be acknowledged with respect and the statute would be brought to that person's attention.  Lori Moya said that she is an adult trainer, and while you can talk about things in a class, you have to role play situations.  So I'm excited that there will be a sensitivity training!  Just as soon as they figure out what to tell everyone to do...

Maybe we should have role played in the meeting to determine what exactly constitutes a substantial disruption or distraction.  

Bellybean was a bit distracting through most of the meeting, what with being super cute, and very talkative because he was overtired.  But, he was least disruptive when I nursed him...
 
They're still trying to balance the rights of mothers and babies against the prejudices of others.  Others who may have written letters, I don't know - but I know they haven't been at the board meetings, or the SHAC meetings, and they weren't there Tuesday night.  In an attempt to make sure no one feels overlooked, the possibility exists that a regulation or policy would address "one or two people a year" instead of just supporting breastfeeding.  And I seriously don't really think there are even one or two people a year causing substantial disruptions, though - I think it would be far fewer than that given that Mel Waxler only recalls one incident besides mine that has caused any kind of a ruckus.

So why not just let federal law cover the rare instance where a reaction to breastfeeding causes a substantial distraction or disruption?

Let's see, random notes here...  Please forgive me if I get repetitive and disjointed.  So much info to cover...  Mel liked the language "that is non-disruptive."  For a written policy or regulation, he likes the idea of saying something like "a mother who is breastfeeding in a manner that is non-disruptive..."  That's even worse than the whole caveat about creating a disruption.

SHAC was brought up as a possible resource.  I felt that SHAC's position was misrepresented.  They never really had an opportunity to come to a decision as a group.  In December they were asked not for a group decision but for individual comments - the overwhelming majority of which were pro-breastfeeding and against the rescinded regulation.  In January they were told that the district had rescinded the regulation and would handle breastfeeding issues on a case by case basis, and that no new regulation would be written.  So the perception was that there was no further role for the SHAC in the issue.  I was late (went to the wrong building) and missed the conversation, but in speaking to many SHAC members and reading the meeting minutes, it's clear to me that it's a mischaracterization to say they "gave it back to administration" and "did not take a stand either way."  The SHAC rocks, and given time to discuss it, I feel confident that they would support breastfeeding mothers and babies without stipulations.

The teachers' union, Education Austin, and the principals' union, will be consulted for feedback.  I know we have the support of the president of Ed. Austin, Ken Zarifis.  He has thanked us at the board meetings when we've spoken.  


A lot of talk went into determining a deadline for collecting this feedback before meeting again.  Everyone is busy, with the legislature in session.  This is where it was clear that most everyone wants to resolve this as soon as possible.  Ms. Teich and Ms. Moya in particular were vocal about that.  I loved when Ms. Moya said she wanted to put the issue to rest, and "The Donmoyers have been stressed for months."  Yes.  Yes, we have.  She asked if I'm okay at school, and I said, "I'm as comfortable as I'm gonna get."  I feed Bellybean wherever he's hungry at school.  I have a moment of feeling anxious and wonder if I could or should find a different location, but I buck up and feed him where he's hungry. 

They will try for the end of March.  Mel said that if any issues arise between now and then it would REALLY have to be a substantial disruption - whatever that means.  ;)  I'm being catty to be funny, to blow off steam.  But I do appreciate this attempt at a reassurance that moms can breastfeed during this process without fear of discrimination.  I think that's what he was getting at.

So I didn't get what I wanted on Tuesday, but progress is being made.  And I did get probably the closest thing I'll ever get to an apology from the district.  Mel said of the rescinded reg., "In retrospect, I don't think it was a good regulation."

See my chance to speak here.