Take Me Out to the Ball Game TONIGHT: The Round Rock Express Rocks for Nursing Mamas & Babies!

Nursing Bellybean at a Round Rock Express game in April

When my oldest son, now eight, was almost a year old, I read in a parenting listserv I was on about a mother who was nursing her baby at a Round Rock Express game when she was asked by an unwitting employee to go to a private room to nurse her baby.

Now this was in 2006, before Facebook was even open to the general public.  But even without the tremendous asset that is the Facebook breastfeeding advocates community, mothers rallied to the cause.  Letters flooded management, peppered with the words "boycott" and "nurse in."

The Round Rock Express' president, Dave Fendrick, who was the general manager in 2006, could have doubled down.  It happens a lot, even when people are made aware of the law.  For quite some time my school district gave that method a go.  Hollister completely ignored the public outcry of mothers in December.  And last week - during World Breastfeeding Week - the city of Burleson, Texas' mayor defended a city employee who harasssed a mother for feeding her 16-day-old baby.

But Mr. Fendrick showed more respect for the law, and for nursing mothers.  Within days the issue was resolved.  An apology was promptly issued:

We learned a valuable lesson over the past couple of days and we have now established a policy for breast feeding mothers....  We apologize for any inconvenience we caused anyone regarding this situation and look forward to having families in the Central Texas area enjoying Round Rock Express games this season.

 Not only that, a breastfeeding policy was posted to the Fan Guide section of the Express' website:

 

According to the Austin Chronicle, Fendrick said that

If someone is offended by the sight of a mother nursing her child, "we will offer them the opportunity to relocate," Fendrick claimed. And if they don't want to relocate? "They're just gonna have to turn their head and not watch," he declares. "We're not asking the mom to move."

That year, Dave was awarded a Breastfeeding Hero Award by Central Texas Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies Coalition.

Seven years later, not only can mothers feel certain they are welcome to breastfeed at the ball game, the Round Rock Express is also supporting breastfeeding in another way.  Last week, the Mothers' Milk Bank at Austin was the featured non-profit at a game.  As I arrived late from our Breastfeeding Month Proclamation at Austin City Hall, I heard the announcer talking about babies born so small they could fit in the palm of your hand, and how vital donated breast milk can be to their survival.  They had interviewed the director earlier in the night, and there was a kiosk set up at the entrance where people could learn more.

Our local breastfeeding coalition, Central Texas Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies Coalition, will occupy that kiosk tonight.  We'll be giving away free "Eat Local" T-shirts and tote bags while they last.  Three dollars from each discounted ticket purchased with our promo code will be donated to HMHB for our breastfeeding advocacy efforts.  And hot dogs and drinks are only $1.  

Check out our free Eat Local breastfeeding T-shirts & tote
at the Breastfeeding Month Proclamation.
Photo courtesy of GA-Images by Gloria Sanchez.

Now, I'll admit that I'm not a sports fan.  Roller derby is cool (HMHB's president is Battlestar Gailactica!), but I haven't been interested in baseball since I stunk at it as a kid.  (The only time I made it home was when I was walked - once - and I once caught a ball thrown by the coach with my face.  I'm not a big baseball lover.)  That said, I've been to a couple of games this season and had a really great time.

My husband and my boys have really enjoyed watching the games.  They had pizza while I ate a salad (no gluten for me).  They enjoyed watching the goofy things people do when the cameras are on them and we can watch them smile or chicken dance on the big screen.  There's a playground we enjoyed the first time we went, and a pool we loved when attending a bloggers party.  There's also a Fun Zone that we didn't get to, but next time, we'll be rock wall climbing for sure.  I had no idea there were so many fun things to do at a ball game! 

And Bellybean's favorite part?  Nursing!

Photo Challenge Week 1

As I wrote up my National Breastfeeding Month events post, I decided to include some goals I've had in mind for awhile - plus one that just popped in my head.  I thought it would be cool, in the interest of normalizing nursing in public, to post a breastfeeding photo each day in a public forum - my Facebook page.  I figured the only thing challenging about what I for some reason called a Photo "Challenge" would just be remembering post a breastfeeding photo every day sometime before falling asleep.  It turned out to be a very emotional thing for me, though, as some of the photos and thoughts that I shared were ones that made me feel intensely vulnerable.

Day 1
Happy World Breastfeeding Week!!
Happy National Breastfeeding Month!!!

Day 1

The week started out vanilla enough.  My only concern posting this photo of Bellybean and myself in our Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies attire was that somebody out there might think I was too modest, the way my shirt fell over my little guy's nose. 


Day 2

Bellybean and I stopped at a couple of big box baby stores to drop off flyers for National Breastfeeding Month events. Between stores, getting into his car seat, he let me know in no uncertain terms that he needed to nurse.  It seems like it's getting to be a habit, needing to be topped off to survive a car ride... 

Day 2
The Car-Seat-Lean-In

Day 3

This next photo truly was a challenge to post.  Seriously.  You may think I'm bat-crap crazy, but I ugly-cried before I hit "Post." 

Over the past almost year, the more I have advocated for breastfeeding, the more I have felt in myself a growing dissonance. The incongruity of saying that breastfeeding is not sexual but being compelled to be utterly discreet while nursing leaves me feeling ill at ease either way.

I've posted lots of nursing photos on Facebook in an effort to normalize breastfeeding. And though I could just have been holding a sleeping baby for all the skin that was showing, it was still important. I've shown moms who are uncomfortable with NIP that with some practice, you can be discreet.

I guess I want to show with my actions, not just say with my words, that you don't have to be discreet if that's not important to you.

I don't want it to be important to me.

I want to rebel against the dissonance, the decades of socialization, my seven years of ninja nursing. I want to be the change I want to see in the world - to shake off the social norm expectations that are in direct conflict with public health goals. If I can't do it, how can I expect change from those who would discriminate against nursing mothers?

So there I am, being counted among the mothers who nursed in solidarity at The Big Latch On in Austin. It's just a bit of flesh. But I want that to count for something.

Day 3

Day 4
Gloria Sanchez of GA-Images offered ten mamas who follow my Facebook page free mini nursing photo sessions to celebrate National Breastfeeding Month.  I am grateful for these beautiful images of my sweet Bellybean as he begins to transform from baby to toddler!

Day 4
At Mayfield Park
Image Credit: GA-Images by Gloria Sanchez

Day 5

Part of our thirteen-year wedding anniversary celebration included brunch at Tacodeli.  I was so excited to see a mama nursing in public (the second time at Tacodeli!) and I ran to the car for a "Thank you for Breastfeeding" card.  Usually I say a quick (almost embarrassed, in my shyness) thank you, hand off the card, and bolt.  But the woman I talked to, Chelsea, recognized me from Facebook, and I got to chat with her for a bit, which was so nice! This was a highlight of my special day!

Day 5
With Chelsea and her husband and two-month-old baby at Tacodeli!

Day 6

I hadn't taken any NIP photos on the 6th, so I decided to share Paa.la's collage. As much as it is important to me to support mothers when they need it and to respond to negative attitudes toward NIP, I just couldn't bring myself to get wrapped up in the negativity that happened over the weekend.  I wanted to stay positive, to enjoy World Breastfeeding Week! 

I've been putting a lot of time into working on our coalition's National Breastfeeding Month events, which suits me fine because I prefer to put my energy into things that are proactive rather than reactive.  But that's left me with almost no reactive energy for the sudden crazy onslaught of negative NIP incidents.  Thankfully, there is vast support to be found online, and the mothers involved have not lacked support from our wonderful breastfeeding community. And Paala, as always, is totally on top of all things related to NIP incidents.

Day 6
Paa.la's collage includes links to a ridiculous number (what is wrong with people lately?!!!) of NIP incidents
and information about actions taken on the part of advocates and businesses alike. 

Day 7

When I chose this graphic from The Leaky Boob as my Day 7 photo, I'd had two extremely awkward conversations over the preceding few days about breastfeeding.  One was regarding expectations of "respect" (on the nursing mom's part) when nursing in public, and the other was about being taken aback by seeing breastfeeding photos like this one (with an uncovered breast) on social media.  My support of nursing moms is absolute, so I would not back down from that.  And for me, having a diplomatic conversation in person is so much more challenging than doing so in writing. I both felt that I said too much, and that I left too much out. But it kind of boils down to this, though: it's just a baby eating.

Day 7
Graphic from The Leaky Boob

I mock myself a little about calling this a photo challenge.  But to be completely honest, posting a photo of breastfeeding that is not covered (by a shirt, I don't just mean a cover), is a bit of a challenge for me.

You see, for so many months I've been entrenched in this issue with my school district, and at least sometimes, I've assumed that they've surely been tuned in to my page and blog. So other than Wonder Woman in the profile pic, I've only posted breastfeeding photos that are as discreet as I am.

Now, as I evolve in how I run my page, I worry - will anyone who has supported me feel betrayed (strong word, maybe, but I can't think of a weaker one that means about the same thing) that after all my months of modesty I'm posting an uncovered photo? Will there be a mass exodus from my page?  Worse, will friends who have seen me nurse modestly for years be bothered, and if so, what will that mean for our friendship?

And on the other side of that coin, will there be someone who reads this and is insulted by me saying this is new territory for me?  That I was ruled by fear of Facebook deleting my page and personal profile, and of losing support when I needed help when I started this page, and of someone in the school district, and then in the House or Senate, not supporting our cause because I was not more... mainstream, for lack of a better word?

It's so crazy, because for one thing, I don't even have language that I feel okay about to talk about this. I get that modesty and discretion are subjective, but is that supposed to mean that I'm not supposed to use those words, even as a breastfeeding advocate?

And what about the word covered?  For me it's never meant just a big nursing cover.  So do I nurse uncovered?  No, but what's the opposite?  Exposed?  Does that have a negative connotation?  What about breastfeeding openly?  That just sounds weird.

I feel concerned over the language in part because I have this notion that the spectrum of breastfeeding support might have on one end women who think I'm not hard core enough if I say I'm discreet, or if I post pictures of nursing modestly.  I guess that's probably/maybe just in my head.  But maybe not.  I maintain that most judgment is self-judgment, but I've seen a lot of ugly online, and not just from NIP naysayers.  It's enough to make one second guess every move, in a damned if you do, damned if you don't kinda way.  The possibility of failing other mothers or being failed by other mothers leaves me feeling very vulnerable.

Nonetheless, including this photo is entirely for me.  It's about stilling the dissonance that I've come to feel. 

I am trying not to be ruled by fear. Because this, is just a baby eating.

If you want to join my little "challenge" and would like to share any breastfeeding photos on KANIP, you can post or PM them there or email them to me.  Please include a note saying that I can file them away for use one day on this blog or on social media.

Keep Calm and Nurse On

Written after The Big Latch On, Saturday, August 3:

I came home from a fantabulous day of celebrating breastfeeding to learn of two NIP incidents today, and I have so many notifications I can't even keep up with the progress of the stories. So I'm going to share some crummy news later. Maybe much later, because I'm almost too tired to keep my eyes open. I know these mamas are not unsupported, that there are already others responding, so I'm not leaving anyone hanging.
Before I do share the latest in the world of NIP discrimination, I want to share three happy things:

• This morning I attended my first Big Latch On with many other moms who came together just to nurse their babies for one minute all at the same time, to celebrate breastfeeding. And this is happening across the globe for 24 hours! So that's pretty freakin' awesome.

• A mom working at MamaCents pumped under a cover on the side of a pretty busy room like it was no big deal. I was enthralled by her. She was so nonchalant and pragmatic about it - a role model, in my eyes. We talked later & she said it actually had made her anxious. So, so, so brave. And freakin' awesome.

• This afternoon I talked to an employee at Office Max wearing my Keep Austin Breastfeeding T-shirt and nursing my very distractible 13-month-old Bellybean. I swear to you, this young man did not bat an eye. He had to have realized I was breastfeeding, but I did not see it even register, he was so unfazed. Freakin'. Awesome.

When I started this page I was quick to share every NIP incident that came up in my News Feed. Then one day I realized that there was so much negativity on my page - and that the negativity does not reflect real life. Most babies are nursed without incident.

So sometimes I'm following an incident and commenting on a business' page, but it's that positive outcome that I want to get to share here, if/when it happens. Of course I'll always do my best to support mamas who need it, and to rally the troops as necessary.

I want to be sure to communicate here that while harassment and discrimination happen much too often, it is not the norm. I nursed for a combined total of six years before anyone ever said anything unsupportive to me when I was nursing in public.

So nurse on, mamas. Even when you're anxious, look nonchalant. Be pragmatic. And be brave. Because every time you nurse in public, you make incremental changes in our society that are going to add up to a new societal norm by the time our children are grown and have their own babies who need to be nurtured. Thanks to you.

Giddy Up!

Christmas is in just a few days and I am as giddy as this kid:

OK, so it's not Christmas. After all, there are no gifts to buy or wrap, no decorations to put up and take down, no staggering credit card bill coming next month (well, hopefully not...).

So, what is stress-free yet Christmas-level exciting for a lactivist? Why, August, of course!  The first week is World Breastfeeding Week and the whole month is National Breastfeeding Month!

There are so many events going on in Central Texas to celebrate, and I am looking forward to them all gleefully!  The month will kick off with The Big Latch On, which you can see me discuss with Amber Rogers and reporter Jennifer Borget on YNN Austin below.  Jennifer has a new son, and is breastfeeding him during the interview as Amber and I are breastfeeding our babies!  So yeah, she's kind of a hero of mine.

YNN Austin story here, with video available to Time Warner customers

How's that for normalizing breastfeeding?!  AND she's a breastfeeding working mom!  Hero.


So - the Latch On.  I was nursing an almost-two-month old last year at this time. I needed to buy Magoo school clothes and wanted to go to the MamaCents Consignment Sale anyway, but I was psyched to go toThe Big Latch On that they were hosting. With only one car, I was relying on Adam to get home on time for me to get to the latch on. He did not. (A fact he won't soon forget...)

But this year I WILL nurse my almost 14-month-old at two of three local latch ons!

In Austin:

• Friday, August 2nd at 10:30am sharp at The Natural Baby Company, (515 S Congress Austin, TX)

• Saturday, August 3rd at 10:30am sharp at the MamaCents Consignment Sale at Marchesa Hall & Theatre (6226 Middle Fiskville Rd. Austin, TX)

In Round Rock:

• Saturday, August 3rd at 10:30am sharp at BabyEarth (106 E Old Settlers Blvd D-100, Round Rock, TX)

The whole point is to show that we value breastfeeding through this challenge to have the most moms nursing in one location at the same time.  So invite all of your friends, and nurse in solidarity with women across the globe!  If you Facebook, you can RSVP on Facebook for the event(s) you plan to attend:

• The Natural Baby Company
• MamaCents Consignment Sale
• BabyEarth

While you're on Facebook, be sure to like Central Texas Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies Coalition. There's another challenge going on there - we've been challenged to catch up to Tarrant County Breastfeeding Coalition in our number of Facebook "likes."  (And hey, you might as well like my page, too, if you haven't yet!)

But I digress.


On Wednesday, August 7th at noon I'll be with some of the coolest broads in town at our Central Texas Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies Coalition Monthly Meeting. These meetings are always on the first Wednesday of every month at Any Baby Can, 1121 E. 7th St., Austin, Texas. Anyone is welcome, so come join us!  All the cool kids are doing it!


Thursday, August 8th is going to be a very. busy. day.  But there is no way I would miss the USBC National Breastfeeding Month Webinar:
Action for the Summer Recess.  Learn more about supporting breastfeeding legislation?!!  Booyah!!!  If you followed our legislative efforts in Texas this spring, are a member of We Support Texas Breastfeeding Laws with Enforcement, or just plain support breastfeeding, you need to register for the webinar, too, and be online from 1:00-2:30pm CST.  

Testify! 
With powerhouses Michelle Hickman, Dr. Susan Landers, MD,
and Gail Gresham, IBCLC.  We spoke to the Business and Industry
Committee in support of breastfeeding legislation in March.

After the webinar I'll be heading over to Austin City Hall (301 West 2nd St, Austin, TX) from 4:30-6:30 for the Breastfeeding Month Proclamation!  Central Texas Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies Coalition (HMHB) will be giving away free breastfeeding T-shirts! You read me right! I said Free BREASTFEEDING T-Shirts!!! There will be lots of other cool stuff, too - a Mayoral Proclamation (you know I loves me some politics!), Mothers' Milk Bank at Austin will be there (loves me some milk bank, too!), and other vendors and giveaways, and I think (fingers crossed!) some free ice cream!

If my exclamation points have not convinced you that you should attend, maybe this will:

That "Keep Austin Breastfeeding" T-shirt I'm wearing was the Free BREASTFEEDING T-Shirt!!! for the past couple of years. This year we're bustin' out a new design, so be there or be naked.


After Mayor Leffingwell proclaims that August is hereby National Breastfeeding Month and thereby Breastfeeding Month here in Austin, there's more breastfeeding advocacy to be done in Round Rock with the Mothers’ Milk Bank at the Ball Game!  The Round Rock Express will feature Mothers' Milk Bank at Austin as their Spotlight Nonprofit starting at 6:30pm. Personally, the fact that the only time I ever made it to home plate in third grade was when I was walked, and that I caught a ball thrown by my coach with my face kind of turned me off of baseball. But we celebrated Father's Day/Magoo's Due Date at a Round Rock Express game eight years ago, and it's really pretty fun. And I went to a game earlier this season as a guest at a blogger party that the Round Rock Express held and was really impressed by how much fun it is to be there.

So buy me some peanuts and cracker jack, cause Adam is psyched to take the boys again, either that night OR (maybe and) on August 12, 2013 at 6:30 pm, when Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies is at the Ball Game!  Because the Round Rock Express is so awesome, they'll be featuring HMHB, too!

Both games are home games at The Dell Diamond, located at 3400 E Palm Valley Blvd, Round Rock, TX.  Discounted ticket information for MMBA can be found here and for HMHB, information will soon be available here.

NIP at the Round Rock Express blogger party

On August 14th, MMBA will rock out with Lex Land at Central Market (4001 North Lamar Blvd, Austin, TX) from 7:00-9:00pm. Come to the Rock-a-Bye Baby Concert not just for awesome tunes, but also for cool prizes and edumacation about milk banking!


You can learn even more about milk banking on a Milk and Cookies Tour!  August tours are

• Monday, August 19th from 2:00-3:00pm
• Tuesday, August 20th from 10:30-11:30am
• Wednesday, August 21st from 6:00-7:00pm
• Thursday, August 22nd from 12:00-1:00pm

MMMmmm, cookies.

Cookie Monster and the Milk Monster (source)

All tours will take place at the Milk Bank (2911 Medical Arts St. #12, Austin, TX).  More details here. 


And last but not least, National Breastfeeding Month for me will end with brunch at the zoo, where Mothers' Milk Bank will show their appreciation for Austin area milk donors, recipient families, healthcare providers, milk depots, and supporters with an Austin Appreciation Brunch on Saturday, August 31st from 10:00-11:30am at Austin Zoo (10808 Rawhide Trail, Austin, TX).

I have some personal goals for World Breastfeeding Week, as well.

1. On August 1st I have well checks scheduled for my oldest and youngest boys. I plan to open a dialogue with our wonderful pediatrician that will begin a test run for a campaign I want to launch.  I want to help to empower parents to demand, as consumers, better lactation support from the medical community (as well as some tools for pediatricians to meet our need).
2. We (HMHB) will be putting out a survey to get feedback about why respondents are or are not a member of their local breastfeeding coalition. (Hint: if you're here reading this - YOU should be in a coalition!) We'll also begin a newsletter that I plan to help with.  Wait - is that one goal or two? 
3. I want to improve upon my blog and Facebook page with a shiny new logo. So I'll be having a contest! Woot! I will announce the winning submission on September 5th, the anniversary of the NIP incident that put me on this path to begin with - so really, a day I want to celebrate.
4. I think I'd like to try to post a NIP photo to Facebook every day of August.  Then I'll make a blog post of them, maybe. 
5. I want to see, finally, a resolution with AISD.  We think we're all but there.  I can't wait for it to be official!

Nursing at my first AISD board meeting. 
Hopefully my next will be my last.

If I Could Save Time in a Bottle

Yesterday I woke to find out that my Grandma Rae, one of my favorite people in the world, had passed away at 3:19 a.m.

She was 87. 

It wasn't old enough.

I knew when I said goodbye on our last visit a year and a half ago, and again on our last phone call on her birthday months ago, that it might be our last goodbye.  And yet, as with all things, I really thought there would be more time.

More time to call, when the kids weren't running around screaming in the background.  More time to visit, when money to fly wasn't so tight.

But now time has run out, and she is gone...

Talking to my Grandma Rae the last time I saw her,
pregnant with Bellybean and talking about her births

Just over a week ago I embarrassed the crap out of myself crying out of the blue in front of a very sweet woman I don't know very well.  I felt so stupid.  I was dropping off a donation of breastmilk to Mothers' Milk Bank at Austin, and when I was thanked for donating, I made the mistake of saying, "I just wish it had been more."  And with that came the waterworks.

Dropping off my 100 ounces

In January I'd been to a Milk and Cookies Tour of the milk bank, and afterward, I'd signed up to be a donor.  I got my blood test within days, which costs the milk bank money, but I didn't start pumping right away.  I wanted larger flanges, but put off driving up to Special Addition to get them.  The kitchen was a mess and I didn't want to go in there to wash - and boil - extra dishes until it was spic and span (which never happened).  The situation at AISD was neverending, we got a virus, I worked long and hard on the school's silent auction, I got sucked into legislative work that ruled. my. life.  But it was going to be okay.  I had time.  I had until Bellybean turned a year old.  That was so much time.

Bellybean's chocolate birthday cake

And then it wasn't, and we were singing "Happy Birthday" over a chocolate cake at Kerbey Lane after a day at the Natural Bridge Wildlife Ranch. 


With my oldest, Magoo, I only donated about 100 ounces.  I had oversupply until he was six months old - I was soaking through sheets every night, needing an extra shirt or two in the diaper bag in case I blew through all of the breast pads I had in there and then leaked all down the front of whatever I was wearing.  But I didn't get around to pumping until my supply leveled out, and I didn't know about The Milk-Saver until well after Bellybean was born.  So I was really disappointed not to donate more.  I planned to make up for it with Sweet Pea.  Then adjusting to life with two kids got in the way.  When I committed to donating some of Bellybean's milk, I was shooting for a minimum of 500 ounces in my head.  Never mind that as a stay-at-home mom I've never much pumped just for my own kids or even gotten them to take a bottle.  Never mind that my oversupply had resolved months before by following my midwife's advice to block nurse.  I thought I would pump the initial donation of 100 ounces, then keep pumping for two months as requested, and then keep on going.  But all I managed, again, was 100 ounces.  And then there was no time left.

I'm sure there was an element of knowing that Bellybean is growing so fast and that he's our last baby that contributed to the tears that just kept coming.  Even with my kids in the backseat when I got back in my car, even needing to go into Jason's Deli for a late lunch, the stupid tears just kept coming. 

But it wasn't just about time passing.  It was that my time was up.

I value integrity very highly, just under honesty, which probably tops my list of necessary traits in people I want to be friends with.  Nonetheless, often, I lack integrity.  I forgive myself, though, because there's still time to schedule that playdate I promised.  There's still time to do better about signing the homework log next week.  I can start the Orange Rhino Challenge again tomorrow, get the house clean next weekend, start that diet next month.  I'll play with the kids once the laundry is done.

But to donate breastmilk that can literally save the lives of the most medically fragile babies, there is just one year, because our milk changes to meet the needs of our own babies as they become toddlers.  And I ran out of time. 

No more telling myself tomorrow, next week, next month, next baby. 

I can donate money, fundraise, raise awareness - but I can no longer donate the most important thing the milk bank never has enough of - breastmilk.

If you're reading this as a lactating mom of a baby under one, please consider donating your milk to babies in need. 

There are drop off points all over the place if you're not close to a milk bank, or you can ship your milk.  Insurance is supposed to cover a pump.  And though I for one hated pumping a few months ago, I came to love it just because I associated the honor of donating my milk (and maybe some oxytocin helped, too!) with the tedium of washing pump parts, boiling them, washing my breasts, having the baby wake up mid-session and needing to wash my boob again after nursing him back to sleep... - all of the annoying stuff became this warm, fuzzy, I-get-to-watch-TV-while-I-pump-now feeling. 

So donate now, before time runs out. 

And call your grandma.

After my high school graduation in 1994 with my
Grandma Hannan, Aunt Anne, & Grandma Rae.

Breastfeeding Promotion, 4-Year-Old Style

When my baby, Bellybean, my four-year-old, Sweet Pea, and I first started visiting legislators about two breastfeeding bills during the regular 83rd session, Sweet Pea had filled a sheet of paper with Dora stickers on the car ride to the Capitol.  While we went office to office, he wanted to share his stickers with the staffers.  He'd carefully peel off one sticker at a time and pass them out to each staffer, saying sweetly every time with practiced enunciation, "Do you want a sticker?"  I really can't convey how precious that enunciation was.  To meet him, you might not know that he was diagnosed at two with a severe speech disorder.  He still needs speech therapy.  It's hard to understand him when he's upset, or talking fast, but he gets by.  He articulates as best he can, and is pretty well spoken.  But I treasure that I can still hear in my mind the slow cadence in his high-pitched little-boy voice as he perfected that question: "Do you want a sticker?"  He charmed the crap out of people. 

And he was delighted to make people happy.

The second day that we returned to the Capitol, the Dora stickers had all been distributed.  A friend had ordered "Thank You for Breastfeeding" license to breastfeed cards from WIC for me, and with them, a roll of stickers. 

So while asking for support of breastfeeding legislation, Sweet Pea passed out sticker after sticker at the Capitol, adding "breastfeeding" to his pitch, and sometimes calling out in the halls like a carnival barker, "Get your free breastfeeding sticker.  Breastfeeding stickers for sale.  Get your free breastfeeding sticker."

And I would grin a big Cheshire grin, adoring my little activist.

Passing out stickers at the cafeteria at the Capitol

Today Sweet Pea noticed the stickers, which had fallen out of the box they were in.  We were on our way out the door to the post office to mail birthday cards to Magoo's teacher.  Sweet Pea wanted to be Sticker Boy on our errand.  I said no, as I am sometimes wont to while trying to herd three kids out the door, and he began to cry.  Realizing how much it mattered to him, I changed course, and I am thankful that I did.  He calmed down, and I was so impressed as he told me that he would tell people, "If you have a baby and it cries, you have to breastfeed it."

You might worry that people would react badly - much the way we worry someone would react badly to nursing in public.  But all I saw - all I've seen on the many days that Sticker Boy has spread his joy - is smiles.  Some of the chuckles may be ever-so-slightly embarrassed, but the rudest thing anyone has ever done has just been to decline a sticker in their haste - and even that is a rarity.  Often, in fact, people read the web address under the little pink baby and affirm the importance of breastfeeding.

At the post office Sweet Pea offered a sticker to the postal worker, and said (because it's all he really knows), "If you have a baby, you have to breastfeed it."  And she said, "Oh, I know all about that.  I breastfed my daughter 'til she was four!"

Squirrel Nudity - Protect the Little Children!

Scandalous?  Or just really freakin' cute?
Photo Source

Shopping for Bellybean's birthday at Whole Earth Provision Co., I came across this novelty item:

Just a silly, funny little wee pair of underwear.  Amused, I read the back:

 

A portion of the proceeds from this
product will be donated to the
"Small Animal Decency Fund"
which seeks to rid our
neighborhoods of any potentially
offensive naturally occurring
indecent exposures. 

"The poor little things don't even
know that they are naked! 
We've got to educate the animals
and protect our children!"
- Worried Mother

 Do I even have to explain what this has to do with nursing in public?

Well, probably, yes, because the connection may not be too obvious if you don't live in my head.  So, briefly:

...blah, blah, blah NIP is no more indecent than a naked squirrel blah blah....  blah blah worrying about exposing kids to NIP is about as ridiculous as putting squirrels in underwear blah...

You get the picture, right?

Of course, I don't want to offend anyone who worries about their kids seeing breastfeeding.  I get that it's outside of your comfort zone.  It's likely outside of what you consider to be a societal norm. 

Thing is, unless kids are exposed to the reality that breastfeeding is the healthy, biological norm, breastfeeding will never be a societal norm.  Not only that, but without knowing it before they're old enough to catch on that breasts are sexualized, how weird will it be to then have to adjust to the notion that primarily, they're for feeding babies?

So.  In the interest of public health, we must all support mamas who nurse their babies - even in public, even where children may see.  And in the interest of the mental health of squirrels, we must let them go commando.  The world doesn't need another "Super Squirrel" like the one that terrorized my alma mater ages ago.

America's Biggest Problem?
Not NIP!

Uphill Bottle

There's something wrong with this picture...

Photo from Cate Mari

And it's not just the fact that the nursing room is off of the public restroom in this Tyler, Texas mall. 

Don't get me wrong - it's lovely that a private room is provided for mamas and babies who prefer it.  And of course we want pumping moms to have access to privacy.  But "restroom" is just a polite word for the toilet room, yeah?  A restroom isn't a lounge, and it's kind of unpleasant that when places of public accommodation put in a nursing room, they attach them to or combine them with public toilets. 

But that aside, it does irk me that a bottle would be used to symbolize breastfeeding.  Either it's some sort of visual euphemism for breastfeeding (because breastfeeding is so, I mean, gosh - there are breasts!) or the bottle is such an ingrained symbol for babies that someone was completely oblivious to the idiocy of symbolizing nursing with a bottle.  It seems to be the latter in this news clip about public breastfeeding in which a bottle graphic is the backdrop for an interview - or is it? 

Either way, can you say "uphill battle?"




(Note - the sign says, "Nursing," not "Pumping.")

Thank You for NIP

What do you say when you see a mom nursing in public?

I used to not say anything.  But after the first time someone said something negative to me, I vowed to always say something encouraging to anyone I saw breastfeeding in public. 

But what? 

Then I read a post on facebook about someone who thanked a mom for NIP, and I thought, "That's perfect.  I can say that." 

So now, whenever I see a nursing mama, I get all giddy.  I dig through my bag to see if I have one of the "Thank you for breastfeeding" cards with the right-to-breastfeed law inside.  Then I look over at her & think, "Maybe I should wait until she's done nursing so I'm not interrupting."  Then I start to get nervous.  I don't know why.  Except that I'm shy, and it's just kind of what I do sometimes, I get nervous and I clam up.

Nursing Bellybean months ago at a pizza place

Tonight at Kerbey Lane Cafe a mom seemed to be nursing, but I wasn't certain.  I had my card ready and had myself all excited and nervous (and boy do I feel stupid admitting that publicly), when suddenly Sweet Pea had to go pee, and off we rushed to the restroom as I tried to tell Adam to give the lady the card if they left before we got back.

Well wouldn't you know it, we came out of the restroom and I could see through the front windows that they were getting into their car.  The "thank you" card still lay on the table, and my heart sunk at my failure.  (In Adam's defense, he had no idea what I'm mumbled on my way to the restroom, and he'd have felt awkward as a man thanking a mom for breastfeeding.)  This was, I think, the fourth mom I'd seen NIP (besides quite a few at MommyCon) since the fall, and the first missed opportunity to thank a fellow mom for normalizing public breastfeeding.

We gathered our leftovers and headed out, and Adam nagged and nagged me to go up to their car, as they hadn't yet pulled out (since getting kids into car seats takes forever and a day).  "But that's creepy and weird," I complained.  Nonetheless I followed him into the parking lot and up to the front door of their car. 

I waved.  I'm such a dork.

She put down her window.

I said, "Hi, I'm being creepy and weird, I'm sorry.  Were you nursing your baby?"  I'm smiling big so she knows I'm not intending to yell at her for it.  And so she knows I'm a big fat dork.

"Yes."

"I just wanted to thank you for nursing in public, and to give you this."  I hand her the card and try, lamely, to pin the blame for my creep weirdness on my husband, explaining that he was supposed to have given her the card for me if I didn't make it out of the restroom before she left.  I apologize (in my mind this was an apology for stalking her to her car, but I may have been incoherent in my dorkiness at this point, I don't really know) and walk away. 

So I did it.  Not in an ideal fashion, but there it is.  It sure as heck beats being told to cover up or go to the restroom, right?

The Fat Lady Sings

I couldn't bring myself to post this here yesterday, but enough procrastinating:  HB 741 is not going to make it out of the Senate. 

It generally takes more than one session to pass such a significant bill, and all of the work we've done this time has greased the wheels for next session.  We should be very proud of how far we got HB 741 and HB 1706. 

I am incredibly thankful for all of the work that everyone in our community has put into these bills.  Even though the bills aren't passing this session, that work is worthwhile and important.  We've raised awareness in our community and among legislators of the need for legislative support of breastfeeding mothers and babies.  We pushed the bills through Calendars, and one through the House.  They had unanimous support in the House Business and Industry Committee and 741 passed in the House 90-46!  They are good bills and your involvement helped legislators to see that.  Thank you.

I started this blog and the Facebook page (where I manage to post much more frequently - if you've been wondering what's been going on, it's all there and at TXBFLeg.com) to ask for support, and I am overwhelmed on a regular basis by just how much I've been given, and by how many friends I've made.  Thank you.

I'm going to take a break, and the blog and Facebook page will slow way down this summer while I focus on my kids for awhile (and do laundry).  I'll post occasionally, and will keep you apprised of what happens in June with AISD.  But after that, there's much we can do over the next couple of years.  I think we can get these bills through in the next session.

I encourage all of you to write your legislators (always, always, always with the utmost diplomacy, stating facts & avoiding inflammatory language) any time (every time!) you hear of or experience a NIP incident (any interference or restriction, not just being yelled at by a manager or ousted), or a lack of support to pump breastmilk at work - not just in Texas but anywhere.  Because the next time a breastfeeding bill is filed, we want legislators to know this is an issue that concerns their constituents, and it's a problem that needs a legislative solution (not just a solution looking for a problem).

It's over for the moment, but we're not going anywhere, are we?

HB 741 passing in the House
(but it's now stuck in a Senate committee)

Help Today, Please!

This week has been a nail biter, and I wish I had time to write about it, but I've spent every day at the Capitol and am headed there again soon.  Our bills need your help.  Please check the daily action alerts at www.TXBFLeg.com.

Update - Blogging My Butt Off

I have been blogging my butt off lately - just not here.  Get your Texas breastfeeding legislation updates at TXBFLeg.com.

And for more info, you can read my guest posts on

Banned from Baby Showers

Food Good, Laundry Bad

and The Badass Breastfeeder.

I am so thankful to the awesome women who have shared their platforms to spread the word that we need support to make our bills law!

In other news, the Austin Independent School District's School Health Advisory Council has made a recommendation that the board's breastfeeding policy follow state law, and the recommendation has no language implying that breastfeeding may be distracting or disruptive.  'Cause the SHAC is cool like that. 

Cover of the Breastfed Babies calendar delivered to Calendars Committee members this week
with a request to set our bills for the House floor as soon as possible.

Proactive, Not Reactive

At the beginning of this year, I was ambivalent about nurse-ins.  Having been to two alone, I didn't go into the Hollister nurse-in with a lot of hope.  But as it turned out, it was a really positive experience.  I love the way that mamas come together to support another breastfeeding mom.  In a society where breastfeeding support is sorely lacking, it's terrific that if someone is wronged, women across the country have her back.

I understand that outrage at a mother and baby's rights being denied fuels a passionate response from breastfeeding advocates.  That is as it should be.  It's why I'm here.

That reactive advocacy will only get us so far, though.  We need to be proactive.  We need to change the culture so fewer and fewer mothers face discrimination.  We can do that through legislation.  And you can do things that will have a more lasting, farther reaching effect in less time than it would take to drive to a nurse-in.  Please check out "Contact Calendars Committee" over at TXBFLeg.com to see how you can help pass legislation to improve breastfeeding law in Texas.

My Favorite Facebook Posts

Today I made what are probably my two favorite Facebook posts on KANIP to date.  It takes me forever and a day to write a blog post, so for those of you who may miss it there, I'll just share it here now, rather than wait.  

HB 1706 passed out of committee!!! WOOOHOOOO!!!

There is a long road ahead, but this is fantastic news! Lactivist in Louboutins & I will update www.TXBFLeg.com later on how we can help support this bill in the coming stages of the legislative process, & on FB you can keep abreast at https://www.facebook.com/groups/165119216973838/?ref=ts&fref=ts.

and

HB 741 passed out of committee 7 to 0! When I know how we can keep it moving, I'll share, and I'll post as soon as I hear anything about 1706!
Woohoo!

It was a REALLY good day for breastfeeding moms & advocates!

Happy Birthday, Mister Rogers

Mister Rogers was a brilliant man.  So what would have been his take on breastfeeding?

An autographed photo of Mister Rogers,
which he sent to my husband in 1983.

Yesterday was Mr. Fred Rogers' birthday. 

It's been a decade now since the world lost this wonderful man.  A man who made children feel loved, just the way they are, and gave a crotchety Senator goosebumps.  A man who was gifted with so many insights about children and how they learn and feel and grow. 

I think most everyone recognizes that Fred Rogers was spot on with everything he said.  Always honest, always caring - he earned our trust.  He was special. 

So how would he have felt about nursing in public?

From Adam's scrapbook - Mister Rogers' letter

How do you think?  What's your best guess about how this great man, who was so in tune with children and how best to respect them and teach them - what is your guess about how he might have treated the topic of breastfeeding?

My husband, Adam, has always been a huge fan of Fred Rogers.  When he was eight years old, he wrote to him.  Mister Rogers wrote back. 

Adam even wrote a song about him when he died.

Yesterday he posted these photos to Facebook, and a friend of his commented that she liked the "Mister Rogers Talks about Food" episode, and today he found it online.

In it, Mister Rogers says that moms often find pleasure in feeding their babies - feeding their babies is a way of showing love.

In the clip below, there are different animals nursing their offspring.  As the mama cat is nursing, the camera gets a close up of a kitten, and you can see that it latches on to the mama's nipple to drink milk.  I thought as I watched it, "How wonderful!  Kids can really see it.  It takes the mystery out of it."

(You may want to watch for yourself now, to avoid my spoiler below.)

As I watched, I hoped that Mister Rogers would show women nursing on his show, even though I was happy even just to see calves and kittens.  And then - boom! - a nipple.  

A mama nursing her baby, and not even covered up.  

On TV, on a brilliant children's program.  Taking all the mystery out of breastfeeding, so that children can see and understand the primary function of breasts.  While they're young, before they've received the message broadcast so loudly by our society that breasts are sexy.  Cause how confusing must that be?  

Going from "breasts are for feeding babies" to "breasts are attractive" is as natural a progression as going from kisses on your neck tickling as a child to kisses on your neck tingling as a teen.  Starting with cleavage on pretty Disney princesses and then finally mentioning to adolescents that mammary glands are the best way to nourish a baby - that's what could be damaging to a child.

I'm still dealing with AISD so I have to say here that as the vast majority of mothers do, I will conform to society's expectations that I do not reveal any of my breast while I nurse my baby at school.  And my agenda with AISD has only ever been for mothers to feel at ease to feed their babies at schools as needed without being shamed.

But in the wider world, normalizing breastfeeding absolutely includes children seeing mothers feeding their babies as we were designed to do.  And I'm not the only one who thinks so.  The brilliant, gentle Mr. Fred Rogers thought so, too.