Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Photocopies and Dinosaurs (No Big Deal)

No big deal - just nursing at the park a few weeks ago. 

Today was a good NIP day.

No one gave me a thumbs up or thanked me for nursing in public.  No "You go, girl!"  But this might just have been better.

Bellybean got hungry in potentially negative situations, and it was no big deal.

I mean, every situation is potentially negative, right?  That's part of what sucks - you never know when or where someone may confront you.  That's part of the problem. 

But these were awkward for me.

I work in the copy room for an hour or so most Wednesdays and Fridays, with Bellybean in the Ergo on my back.  Kids aren't allowed to be in the copy room (safety issue), but as long as he's attached to me, we're cool.  Well today he started to fuss, and I thought it was just that he was tired.  I was bouncing him around, talking to the Chair of the school carnival about the silent auction, somewhat oblivious to my noisy boy.  The assistant principal let me know that there was a tester in an office nearby, so we closed the copy room door.  I realized that he'd have fallen asleep already if he was tired, and that meant that he must be hungry.  Crap.  He's supposed to be in the carrier when we're in the copy room.  But if I left the room he'd be hollering in the hall, disturbing the student who was taking a test.  There were two teachers in the copy room.  My friend said something encouraging so I just sat down and fed him.  And quiet reigned.  One of the teachers on her way out glanced at us and said, "Oh, somebody was hungry, huh?"

No big deal.  I mean, it was, to me - it was a big deal that, to her, it was no big deal!

Then this afternoon Sweet Pea had a class at the Austin Nature and Science Center, and we found out afterwards that there was a dinosaur show.  I guess it was a preview for Erth: Dino Petting Zoo at the Long Center.  The dinosaur was fantastic - but scary for some, including my Sweet Pea.  But before we knew that, while we waited for the dino to arrive, Sweet Pea played in the dino pit while I sat with Bellybean near a mother of five I was chatting with.  Her kids were sweet - one of her little girls seemed smitten with the baby.  Which was awesome, until he started to act hungry, and I began to worry that the mom would be offended if I nursed him right next to her daughter, even though I am discreet.  But I didn't want to ask permission.  She said something about him being cute or little or something, I forget what, and I said that he was cute or little and hungry.  I held off for a minute, un-tucking my shirt from under the Ergo strap, stalling - wanting her to have time to understand that I was about to breastfeed, and to move if she wanted to.  Finally I latched him on, and kept my hand right on my shirt, ready to cover if he got distracted.  She called to her daughters, but one stayed put next to me.  Maybe one of them asked; I heard Mom say I was feeding him special milk.  Then she said to me, to let her know if her daughter made me nervous!  I smiled, "Oh no, not at all."

And it was no big deal.

Which was a pretty big deal.